??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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