well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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