worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
