i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
