epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
