I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
