Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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