i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
