sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
