Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
