Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
