i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
