i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
