If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
