So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
