I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
