He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
