For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
