so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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