I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
