good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
