The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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