Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just had sex on a roof
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
