Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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