What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
