i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
