You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
