I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
