That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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