the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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