i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
