I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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