No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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