I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
