apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
