dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if only i could text you this smell
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
