I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
