dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
