If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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