And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So much rum. So many feels.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
