The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize