She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
