Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
