So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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