Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
