Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
