so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
