Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
