when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
