am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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